Randomness, Golden Sun Style
by Ivanna Sedai
Summary: Yay! Finally, it's chapter 11! In this one they play Jeopardy again. And not much else happens. But the next chapter is gonna be better. I might even have it up soon.
1. Meet the morons

Kraken: Hi ya'll! This is yet another randomness story, the first of which failed miserably, but I'm still gonna write it, but I wanna do something with the Golden Sun characters as well. I love Golden Sun, and I wanna have some fun before The Lost Age comes out besides playing the first game over and over. Now that you're tired of all my rambling, I will begin with the story. The first chapter is very short. Things in between wavy lines are what's going on in the authors mind. Now I will explain about little voices. When I get really bored video game characters have conversations in my head. This is how I came up with Randomness. Now I have a little voice, Tai from Mystic Heroes.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GOLDEN SUN. IF I DID I WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS; I WOULD BE BRINGING THE LOST AGE OUT IN AMERICA. I ALSO DON'T OWN MYSTIC HEROES.  
  
Dora: Isaac, wake up.  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Picard: No seriously, wake up.  
  
Isaac: Why?  
  
Garet: Sargent Pepper is here to see us.  
  
Isaac: Who?  
  
Ivan: Remember, Picard signed us up to be in the army?  
  
Isaac: What?  
  
Garet: Don't you remember?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Mia: Well you should, it was only yesterday!  
  
Isaac: Why?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Tai: Why does Isaac have such a limited vocabulary.  
  
Kraken: Because it's funny.  
  
Tai: Stupid guy. Get him a dictionary.  
  
Kraken: Nope!  
  
Tai: Ugh. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Felix: No one can have that short-term of a memory!  
  
Mia: Except Isaac.  
  
Jenna: Or Garet!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Kraken: There are far to many characters in this.Tai!  
  
Tai: Yeah?  
  
Kraken: You're the one with the lightning, go strike down uhh Sheba and umm Ivan and uhh Dora!  
  
Tai: Do you have something against Jupiter Adepts?  
  
Kraken: That doesn't matter, Just do it.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Tai pops up in the middle of the story and strikes down Ivan, Sheba, and Dora.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Sheba: Hey! I didn't even get a line!  
  
Kraken: Oh well *Innocent grin*  
  
Ivan: Gir  
  
Tai: Gir?  
  
Ivan: Nevermind. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Garet: I don't have that bad a memory!  
  
Picard: Come on people we'll be late!!  
  
Isaac: For?  
  
Picard: Sargent Pepper!  
  
Felix: Fine fine, we'll go Mr. Pushy!  
  
The unfortune group turned to leave, without speaking to Picard. Suddenly a shriek behind them diverted their attention. They turned to see Isaac covered from the tip of his spiky hair to his unwashed feet in blue-tongued skinks. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Tai: Cliff Hanger!!!  
  
Kraken: Mwahahaha!!!  
  
Ivan(In a swivel chair): You're all crazy!  
  
Kraken: For that you will receive punishment.  
  
Kraken pushes a button on a remote control and metal straps secure Ivan in his chair. It starts to spin at unimaginable speeds beyond human comprehension. Ivan is going to fast to even scream. 


	2. Killer Skinks!

DISCLAIMER: I DON"T OWN GOLDEN SUN OR MYSTIC HEROS.  
  
Kraken: Yay! At least two people like this story.junk.thing! I'm happy! I'm getting PS2! YAY!  
  
Tai: O joy.  
  
Kraken: Don't listen to him. Any way I decided we won't have to listen to him in the middle of the story thing cause there are no more annoying comments! I read it over and I think they're annoying! Just like Nstink or sync or whatever. Anyways then now we will be attacked by jellyfish! Jellyfish! Um nevermind.I'm just obsessed with strange marine creatures.actually marine creatures in general. Seahorses are cool.  
  
Tai: Get on with it!  
  
Kraken: Ok! Here's the story!  
  
Last time Stupid Isaac was covered in Blue tongued skinks.  
  
Isaac: Help!!  
  
Picard: Come on people, we have to go now! Huh? Isaac?  
  
Isaac: Ahhhhh!  
  
Alex appears to be attempting to shove his hand in his mouth to keep from laughing. He is failing. Soon Jenna and Felix join in as well. All three collapse on the ground giggling like tickle me elmo. Soon enough the others, Garet, Mia, and Picard join in. Isaac however is not amused and voices his opinions as best he can.  
  
Isaac: HEY!!!  
  
The giggling continues for about three minutes and ends when the skinks leave to find better homes, off in the woods near a nice slimy pond with lots of bugs.  
  
Picard: WE HAVE TO GO NOW!!  
  
Alex: eep.  
  
Garet: Their tongues were so.blue!  
  
Felix: Thank you for that brilliant demonstration of your intelligence Garet.  
  
Garet: Uh. Thank You?  
  
Jenna: *snickers*  
  
Garet: I feel un-loved WHAAAAAAAAA  
  
Jenna: Shut up!  
  
Garet: eep.  
  
Picard: LET'S GO NOW!!!  
  
All others: Ok, Ok you don't have to be so annoying about it.  
  
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Later that day ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^  
  
Picard: Finally, we're here.  
  
Sargent Pepper: You finally decided to show up! I'm surprised!  
  
Picard: It wasn't my fault sir! Really!  
  
Felix: Can I ask you a question?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Of course!  
  
Felix: Well you're Sargent Pepper right?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Yes  
  
Felix: Well what exactly is a lonely heart's club band?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Doh!  
  
Mia: So what exactly do you do in the army?  
  
Sargent Pepper: What? Oh so that's what you told them is it Picard. You are a good little evil minion.  
  
Picard: Thank you sir.  
  
Garet: It's all a comsparicurry!  
  
Felix: I take it that was supposed to be conspiracy?  
  
Alex: He stumbles on words a lot.  
  
Jenna: So if this isn't the army what is it?  
  
Sargent Pepper: A Band.  
  
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Picard: Can I choose the songs they sing sir?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Yes, you may.  
  
All: HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^  
  
Kraken: So Ivan do you really want to go back there?  
  
Ivan: N n no.  
  
Kraken: I will leave your fate to the reviewers, what do you think?  
  
Tai: And if you have any song ideas you can tell us to. We can't guarantee that we'll know the song though. 


	3. Stupid Garet

Kraken: Ok! Well I got a review asking to torture Ivan so I'm putting him in! Yay!  
  
Ivan: Booooo!  
  
Tai: Hahaha  
  
Ivan: You're not very nice *sniff*  
  
Tai: It's my job *innocent grin*  
  
Ivan: Whaaaaaaa  
  
Tai: You must have gotten good at all sorts of screaming and shrieking and running away during your adventures.Is that why you're so fast?  
  
Ivan: Stopit!  
  
Kraken: Um. Ivan you're in the story. Hey! Can I call you Ivanna?  
  
Ivan: No! That's a girl's name. Like that person in Tactics Ogre GBA.  
  
Kraken: D'you think I didn't know that?  
  
Ivan: Gir.  
  
Tai: Kraken173 doen't own Golden Sun, Mystic Heros, Tactics Ogre, The Beatles, or Avril Lavine.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ivan: This is so unfair!  
  
Mia: Hey! You're back  
  
Picard: Sargent Pepper sir!  
  
Sargent Pepper: Yes?  
  
Picard: There's another one.  
  
Sargent Pepper: Late huh. You will be my personal servant  
  
Ivan: Noooooo!  
  
Picard: You are the evilest sir.  
  
Sargent Pepper: Thank you Picard. Ivan!  
  
Ivan: Y-yes  
  
Sargent Pepper: Go to my room. You will find approximately 6789234 disorganized pieces of sheet music. Find Skater Boy by Avril Lavine.  
  
Ivan: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo *gasps*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*coughs*  
  
Felix: You know Ivan, breathing is important to your long-term survival.  
  
Garet: *shakes head* That's why guppies never last.They can't breathe with all that water.  
  
Alex: Uh.  
  
Felix: Garet look out!  
  
Garet: Huh?  
  
Felix: It's Hydrogenhydroxide!  
  
Mia: Oh no! This is bad!  
  
Garet: Oh no! It's horrible!  
  
Everyone bursts out laughing.  
  
Garet: Whats so funny? I thought we were all gonna die from hygremenmyroxid  
  
Felix: Hydrogenhydroxide is water  
  
Alex: *Shakes head* Stupid Garet  
  
Picard: Be quiet! Sargent Pepper wishes you stop this ceaseless bickering!  
  
Sargent Pepper: Mia!  
  
Mia: *cringes* Yes  
  
Sargent Pepper: You have five minutes to memorize this song! Then sing it.  
  
Mia: Uh oh  
  
Ivan: Here.  
  
Isaac: Hi!!  
  
Felix: Some one wants attention.  
  
~Five minutes later~  
  
Mia: Ok here goes.  
  
She was a boy, He was a girl, if you had brains it'd be obvious  
  
He really stunk, she ate much hay. Why? They won't say.  
  
He was covered in fur, she couldn't tell But she pushed him down a well  
  
His very best friend, tripped on a hose He had a thorn stuck up his nose.  
  
He tried to eat his head but soon found that he was dead Which the world found amusing She was lacking a face NASA sent her up in space She crashed on the moon while snoozing.  
  
Five years ago she had a phone Eating spaghetti She's all alone  
  
Hits a Tv Then ate some cheese As we sacrificed him to the sea  
  
He got by dumped by her yesterday So go wash your face  
  
That friend was hospitalized by a rose. They dug thorns out of his nose.  
  
He tried to eat his head but soon found that he was dead Which the world found amusing She was lacking a face NASA sent her up in space She crashed on the moon while snoozing.  
  
Stupid girl see you hit out.  
  
Well the other teams up at bat now.  
  
That rose killed all his friends.  
  
This is how his sad life ends.  
  
He got stung by a bee  
  
And lost his car key  
  
I poked out his eye.  
  
I can see his brains inside.  
  
She was a boy, He was a girl, if you had brains it'd be obvious  
  
We're in the news, haven't you heard  
  
We blew up the entire world  
  
He tried to eat his head but soon found that he was dead Which the world found amusing She was lacking a face NASA sent her up in space She crashed on the moon while snoozing.  
  
Sargent Pepper: That was amazingly wrong.  
  
Picard: Do you insult the master?  
  
Mia: N-no  
  
Isaac: Uh-oh  
  
Sargent Pepper: Ivan  
  
Ivan: Eep  
  
Sargent Pepper: Go find the song Hopelessly Devoted to you from Grease!  
  
Ivan: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Garet: Remember the guppies Ivan, remember the guppies.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kraken: Please review.  
  
Tai: Yup! And send in more song ideas to! 


	4. The philosophies of the Guppies

Kraken: Yay I have four chapters! Do da do da  
  
Tai: And it snowed!!!  
  
Kraken: Yup! And I found that smallish puppies can't be sled dogs. They try to eat the sleds.  
  
Tai: And we don't have school because thanksgiving is tomorrow  
  
Kraken: Which means we can eat!  
  
Sheba: Ehum! Continue with the story.  
  
Kraken: Oh yeah. Um I don't own any licensed products mentioned in this story.  
  
Sheba: On with the show. . . er story thing  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!  
  
Ivan: I couldn't find the song!  
  
Sargent Pepper: What!?  
  
Picard: Don't talk to Sargent Pepper like that!  
  
Ivan: Okay, okay um sir, I couldn't find the song.  
  
Picard: I have a suggestion sir.  
  
Sargent Pepper: Yes?  
  
Picard: Well how about the song. . .  
  
Picard and Sargent Pepper converse quietly for a while, while everyone stands around nervously. Except Garet that is. He appears to be attempting to spin around in circles, do the YMCA, and imitate the Taco Bell dog. This is presenting some problems to anyone in his near vicinity.  
  
Sargent Pepper: Garet!  
  
Garet stops spinning around in circles, doing the YMCA, and imitating the Taco Bell dog  
  
Sargent Pepper: Thank you for stopping spinning around in circles, doing the YMCA, and imitating the Taco Bell dog  
  
Garet: But why did I have to stop spinning around in circles, doing the YMCA, and imitating the Taco Bell dog?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Because it's unnatural.  
  
Garet: I don't know words that big.  
  
Felix: It's what you are Garet.  
  
Garet: Does this mean I don't know what I am?  
  
Felix: Possibly  
  
Garet: Like guppies!  
  
Alex: What!?  
  
Garet: Guppies don't know how small they are because they think everything else is just big.  
  
Alex: It's all perspective  
  
Felix: And from Garet's perspective guppies are the smartest things in the world.  
  
Garet: Don't insult guppies! They're great fielasofuls  
  
Isaac: Huh?  
  
Mia: I think he meant philosophers  
  
Garet: No! I meant fielasofuls!  
  
Alex: And who took the precious ten seconds or so to teach you this so- called word?  
  
Garet: My cheesepuff Fred  
  
Alex: I'm sorry I asked. . .  
  
Garet: No, that's okay, it didn't hurt.  
  
Felix: Uh. . .  
  
Isaac: Shup!  
  
Alex: Huh?  
  
Mia: I think he meant "Shut up"  
  
Isaac: Yes!!  
  
Ivan: I *pant* am *pant* back. . .  
  
Sargent Pepper: Ah thank you Ivanna  
  
Ivan faints  
  
Sargent Pepper: Anyway, Garet is going to sing the song "I am the Walrus". I'm not going to make him memorize it because last time that was disastrous.  
  
Garet: Okay then, I guess I'll try.  
  
I am he as you are he as you are me  
  
and we are all a feather  
  
See how they run like pigs from the sun  
  
see how they die  
  
I'm crying  
  
Sitting on a cornflake  
  
Waiting for the van to come  
  
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday  
  
Man you've been a naughty boy  
  
you let your face grow long  
  
I am the eggman  
  
they are the eggmen  
  
I am the walrus  
  
Goo goo g' joob  
  
Mr. city policeman sitting  
  
pretty little policemen in a row  
  
See how they fly like Lucy in the pie  
  
See how they run  
  
I'm crying  
  
I'm crying, I'm crying  
  
Yellow matter custard  
  
Dripping from a dead dog's eye  
  
Crabalocker fishwife  
  
Pornographic priestess  
  
Boy, you've been a naughty girl  
  
you let your knickers down  
  
I am the eggman  
  
They are the eggmen  
  
I am the walrus  
  
Goo goo g' joob  
  
Sitting in an English garden  
  
waiting for the dumb  
  
If the sun don't come you get a can  
  
from standing in the English rain  
  
I am the eggman  
  
They are the eggmen  
  
I am the walrus  
  
Goo goo g' joob  
  
Expert, texpert choking smokers  
  
don't you think the joker laughs at you  
  
See how they smile like pigs in the sky  
  
See how they snide  
  
I'm crying  
  
Semolina pilchard  
  
climbing up the Eiffel tower  
  
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna  
  
Man, you should have seen them kicking  
  
Edgar Allan Snow  
  
I am the eggman  
  
They are the eggmen  
  
I am the walrus  
  
Goo goo g' joob  
  
Sargent Pepper: Um. . . There were some mistakes in that Garet, though very subtle.  
  
Felix: I don't think anyone would notice if someone made a mistake in that song. It is a mistake!  
  
Alex: Yeah. I think they wanted to see peoples faces when it was played on the radio.  
  
Mia: And who was Edgar Allan Snow?  
  
Garet: I'm sure he lead a happy life and wrote children's books  
  
Isaac: No!!!  
  
Picard: Hey! Where's Jenna? Felix: Dunno  
  
Sargent Pepper: That's' to bad. . . I was going to have her sing Yellow Submarine. Well I guess it falls to her closest relative.  
  
Felix: Shi-  
  
Sargent Pepper: Hahahahahaha!  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Kraken: Happy day before Thanksgiving Everyone! 


	5. Jenna, the neo tinman

Kraken: Ugh. School starts again tomorrow. Back to classes and boredom and tests. Back to a bunch of people who, if I saw them in public, I would deny knowing. I sure hope I don't have any tests tomorrow.  
  
Tai: Anyway, while she continues to lament, KRAKEN173 DOESN'T OWN ANY LICENCED PRODUCTS MENTIONED IN THE FOLLOWING STORY.  
  
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~  
  
Felix: Jenna! I have candy for you! Chocolates!  
  
Jenna: Really! Candy! Where?  
  
Felix grabs Jenna's arms and forces them behind her back.  
  
Jenna: Uh-oh.  
  
Felix: Okay, Jenna, because of your little hiding trick I have to sing yellow submarine. But I'll make a deal. I won't murder you if. . .  
  
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~##~#~#~#~#  
  
Sargent Pepper: Okay Felix! Are you ready?  
  
Felix: Yup!  
  
Mia: He sounds happy. That can't be good.  
  
Jenna comes from somewhere dressed as a yellow submarine. She appears to be having trouble walking, and looks like a big, yellow, waddling, thing with a smoke stack. Felix is attempting not to laugh.  
  
Felix: Anyway hehehehe heeeeheeeheres our song hahahaha!!  
  
Jenna: Gir. . .  
  
Felix:  
  
In the town where I was bored lived a man who ate cheese  
  
*Jenna starts waddle dancing*  
  
And he told us of his life in the land of lots of fleas  
  
* Jenna is getting redder and redder*  
  
So we sailed up to the sun till we found some green peas  
  
And we lived beneath the waves in a hunk of moldy cheese  
  
* Jenna starts attempting to skip around in a circle*  
  
We all drowned in a rusty submarine  
  
A moldy tangerine  
  
A bubblegum machine  
  
We all drowned in a rusty submarine  
  
A moldy tangerine  
  
A bubblegum machine  
  
And our friends are not aboard  
  
'Cause we kicked them out the door  
  
*Felix kicks Jenna*  
  
And the band begins to play  
  
*Jenna starts playing a flute*  
  
dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada  
  
We all drowned in a rusty submarine  
  
A moldy tangerine  
  
A bubblegum machine  
  
We all drowned in a rusty submarine  
  
A moldy tangerine  
  
A bubblegum machine  
  
* Jenna trips and falls*  
  
Felix/Alex: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~  
  
Kraken: Yes, I know that was short oh well. I changed my bio. And it has everything I like on it I mean every thing.  
  
Tai: READ IT!!  
  
Kraken: You'll know more about me then you ever wanted. Mwahahahahahahaha. 


	6. A double helping of Mia's evident lack o...

Kraken: As Mark Twain said "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot." Of course he was and awesome writer anyway, and it didn't stop my teacher from assigning us an essay on Huck Finn.  
  
Tai: Today we have two songs!  
  
Kraken: I've been super busy, and I JUST GOT A PS2 AND KINGDOM HEARTS!  
  
Tai: Why she's been super busy. . .  
  
Kraken: No. . . It was the SSAT's and uh.  
  
Sheba: Thank you for keeping me out of this great god.  
  
Kraken: Shut up and get my cookies heeheehee  
  
Sheba: Meep. . .  
  
$~$~$~$~$~$~~$~$~$~$~$$~$ In a small unlit house deep somewhere really dark and gloomy people are walking into walls. (That had nothing to do with the story)  
  
Every one had gone home for the night. Let's see what they're doing. . .  
  
&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^  
  
Sargent Pepper: Ah. . . Ivan!  
  
Ivan: Meep! I mean yes?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Go mix up some Coke, Coffee, and Chocolate.  
  
Ivan: But. . .  
  
Sargent Pepper: Yes, we are using desperate measures to make these people start a band an make a lot of money all for ME! Mwahahahahahaha!  
  
Ivan: But the insanely caffeinated Multi-colored ultra armadillo of doom? That's cruel!  
  
Sargent Pepper: DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY! GO! NOW!  
  
Ivan: Meep. . .  
  
*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*  
  
Somewhere in a brightly lit house in the middle of no where (The woods)  
  
Felix: Why are we living in the woods forty miles from civilization?  
  
Jenna: Why am I living with you?  
  
Felix: Why is there a guppy motif on the living room ceiling?  
  
Jenna: Why is there a zucchini on the T.V. antenna?  
  
Felix: I wasn't getting good reception.  
  
Jenna: But you're playing video games! You don't need reception!  
  
Felix: But it was fuzzy!  
  
Jenna: You have super smash bros in a PS2! And there are guppies in the disk drive!  
  
Felix: GARET!!!  
  
Jenna: Him. I assume the same about the ceiling?  
  
Felix: Yup.  
  
#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#)#  
  
In the middle of another woods.  
  
Mia: Why do we all live in the woods!  
  
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#  
  
In Vale  
  
Isaac: zzzzzzzzz. . . .  
  
$^$^$$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^$^  
  
In the middle of the ocean  
  
Garet: Guppies!  
  
Guppies: . . .  
  
Garet: Teach me your ways!  
  
Guppies: . . .  
  
Garet: . . . ?  
  
Guppies: . . . .  
  
Garet: . . . !  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
Somewhere. . . Alex is eating pizza. And burritos.  
  
#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#  
  
Now, to the story.  
  
Sargent Pepper: Welcome to day two!  
  
All: Ahhhhh!  
  
Garet: . . .  
  
Sargent Pepper: Now you are gonna sing two songs. Mia.  
  
Mia: Uh-Oh  
  
Sargent Pepper: Thanks to your pitiful performance last time you get to sing "Here comes the Song"  
  
Picard: I believe that is "sun" sir  
  
Sargent Pepper: Thank you. Ivan! Go find that song here comes the sun, one of my personal favorites.  
  
Ivan: Oh god. . .  
  
Garet: . . .  
  
Felix: What's gotten into him?  
  
Jenna: Yeah! And Garet, why did you try and play our Kingdom Hearts game on our Gamecube!?  
  
Garet: . . . The guppies told me!. . .  
  
Jenna: gir Felix: Resisting urge to kill. . .  
  
Isaac: Help!  
  
Felix: Not you stupid!  
  
Mia: I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead. . .  
  
Alex: Don't look so cheerful!  
  
Mia: Not even funny. . .  
  
Alex: Uh okay then grouch  
  
Mia: But I hate the sun! it's so warm!  
  
Garet: . . .  
  
Mia: I'll melt!  
  
Alex: So! You really are the wicked witch of the west!  
  
Jenna: Stupid! That's water! She's a mercury adept! She can't melt in water!  
  
Alex: That seems to makes sense. . .  
  
Alphonse(From tactics ogre GBA): Ah hahah! I'm the wicked witch of the south south west!  
  
Felix: Wrong game!!  
  
Frodo(Lord of the Rings): I am the grilled cheese sandwich! King of all!  
  
The Little Mermaid: Quack.  
  
Donald Duck: That's my line!  
  
Daffy Duck: No, mine!  
  
Donald: Mine!  
  
Alphonse: I will not listen to you, for I have ear plugs!  
  
The Little Mermaid: Oh yeah? Well I have a tail!  
  
Ariel (From Tactics Ogre GBA): Yeah well so do I!  
  
The Little Mermaid: Hey! I think you took my name! But I can't remember what it is, so I can't say for sure.  
  
Sargent Pepper: GET OUT OF MY STORY!!!!  
  
Frodo, Donald, Daffy, Alphonse, Ariel, The Little Mermaid, and Garet scurry away.  
  
Felix: Wait, how can a mermaid scurry?  
  
Sargent Pepper: Garet GET BACK HERE!!!  
  
Garet scurries back  
  
Ivan: I'M BACK ALL YOU MORONS!!!  
  
All: Gir  
  
Garet: . . .  
  
Alex hits Garet with a zucchini that happily popped up from an alternate dimension  
  
Picard: Listen fools, the master will speak!  
  
Sargent Pepper: Mia! Sing! Now!  
  
Monotone Man: You have abused the privilege of interjections.  
  
Sargent Pepper hits the Monotone Man with another zucchini that happily popped up from another alternate dimension.  
  
Monotone Man (very monotonously): Ow.  
  
Sargent Pepper: GO!  
  
Monotone Man walks away very monotonously.  
  
Picard: The great god has asked you to sing!  
  
Mia: Here comes the sun, it's annoying,  
  
Here comes the sun, and I say, it's to bright  
  
Stupid Garet, it's been a happy, bluish winter  
  
Stupid Garet, you have a fish stuck in your ear  
  
Here comes the sun, it's yellow,  
  
Here comes the sun, and I say, can't wait til night  
  
Stupid Garet, dumb smile plastered on you face  
  
Stupid Garet, please don't eat your ear  
  
Here comes the sun, ah, I'm blinded,  
  
Here come the ambulance and I say "Garet, did you call 911?"  
  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes, sun, sun, sun, here it comes,  
  
Sun, sun, sun, There it goes, sun, sun, sun  
  
Garet: There she blows!  
  
Mia: Sun, sun, sun, isn't it dumb  
  
Stupid Garet, I think your brain is slowly melting  
  
Stupid Garet, I see it dripping out your ear  
  
Here comes the sun, melting ice cream,  
  
Here comes the sun, and I say it's not right!,  
  
Here comes the sun, shoot me now, Here comes the sun  
  
It's too bright, it's too bright  
  
Garet: I think you were insulting me. . . Isaac: HA! Alex: I think so to Garet Sargent Pepper: Fools! Morons! Idiots of all ages!  
  
Garet: Yes?, I do like pancakes  
  
Alex: Once again, Garet's common sense is no match for his stupidity  
  
Sargent Pepper: Ivan!  
  
Ivan: Oh no oh no. . .  
  
Sargent Pepper: Go find song number 6734592, Can't Get You out of my Head by Kylie Minolge (Anyone know how to spell it?)  
  
Ivan: But really! You can't expect me to find it in the pile of 74832019 papers!  
  
Sargent Pepper: I think that number changed from last time. . .  
  
Felix: Well, we might as well sit around and contemplate life for awhile. . .  
  
Garet: Life?  
  
Alex: . . .Ripping hair out from sheer stupidity of it all. . .  
  
Jenna: Heehee Alex would look funny with an Afro  
  
Alex: What!?  
  
Garet: I'm a little pepperoni, roni, roni  
  
Picard: Silence fools!  
  
All: NO!  
  
Garet: . . . I'm a little pepperoni, roni, roni  
  
Felix: gir  
  
Garet: Hurt me!  
  
Felix: Okay  
  
Garet: Hurt me!  
  
Alex: You'll feel pain 'til next morning  
  
Jenna: Hey! That would make a good song! Hurt me/ You'll feel the pain 'til next morning/ your fingers will be missing and. . . uh, I need something that rhymes with "morning"  
  
Alex: mourning!  
  
Jenna: Hurt me/ You'll feel that pain 'til next morning/ Your fingers will be missing and your few friends will start mourning  
  
Felix: To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!  
  
Isaac: Yes!  
  
Alex: Isaac gets omitted from the dialogue a lot  
  
Isaac: Yes!  
  
Garet: I have a zucchini! I'm willing to use it!  
  
Sargent Pepper: So Picard, they have yet to learn of my plans  
  
Picard: Well, if you keep talking that loud, sir, they'll know soon  
  
Sargent Pepper: I have a problem though. They're all to stupid to sing the songs right!  
  
Picard: Then they'd make a perfect pop group sir  
  
Sargent Pepper: Yes, Picard, yes  
  
~A Few read-alouds of War and Peace later~  
  
Ivan: I'm back!  
  
Garet: And the guppies will rule the world!  
  
Ivan: So, I take it I didn't miss anything?  
  
Mia: NOOOOOO!!!  
  
Sargent Pepper: Mia, sing!  
  
Mia: La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
I just can't seem to find my head  
  
Cause I can't seem to think without it  
  
I just can't seem to find my head  
  
Boy where do you think it is about  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
I just can't seem to stand this song  
  
It's just insanely repetitive  
  
I just can't seem to stand this song  
  
There's a zucchini in my shopping cart  
  
Every cabbage, has bad hair days  
  
Because the soldiers bear arms I like hay  
  
Horses neigh all forever  
  
And ever and ever and ever  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
I just can't seem to find my head  
  
The more and more I think 'bout it I just can't like the color red  
  
Because it bring famine and drought  
  
There's a dark yellow bee  
  
Don't leave it locked in your heart  
  
It'll sing me  
  
It'll sting meee eeeee  
  
Set it free  
  
seven eleven Eleven eleven  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
La la la la la la la la  
  
L. . . L. . . tongue numb no more Ls please  
  
Mia collapses on the ground.  
  
Garet: Now can I call 911?  
  
_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)  
  
Kraken: Whoa, that was long  
  
Tai: Yeah, very very long  
  
Kraken: I forgot to say this before, but I don't own anything! So please, please don't sue me  
  
Tai: And review!  
  
Kraken: Cause I feel very reviewless  
  
Tai: And where's Sheba with those cookies. . . 


	7. Since when is Gandalf the king of Rohan?

Kraken: *sigh* Finally, I'm free! My day went like this cook, clean, cook, clean, watch cousin play Final Fantasy X, play soccer out in the rain and snow (that was the best part) dry off (We were really wet) eat, clean. I didn't even play video games!  
  
Felix: Well, actually you played FFX, Kingdom Hearts, Super Smash Brothers, Tactics Ogre and Golden Sun.  
  
Kraken: For a total of fifteen minutes!  
  
Tai: And a partridge in a pear tree. . .  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Neeheeheeheehee  
  
Kraken: Aghuuuu  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Uh. . . In order to start this story, Kraken173 does not own any licensed product mentioned in this fic, so please don't sue her!  
  
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@  
  
Monotone Man: And now for the guest stars Alphonse and Sora  
  
Alphonse: Why us why us why us. . .  
  
Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Garet: The guppies advise against that, Sora  
  
Sora: Well, if I kill myself before the story starts I won't have to be in it!  
  
Sargent Pepper: Mwahahahahahaha! You're gonna be in the story if I have to buy a club, drive to your house, break in, knock you out, tie you up, stuff you in a bag and hypnotize you myself! (which I actually did)  
  
Picard: Is it really worth the trouble if you could have Ivan do it sir?  
  
Sargent Pepper(From now on we're gonna call his SP): Good point. I have taught you well.  
  
Alphonse: Why me why me why me. . .  
  
Monotone Man: And so the story begins. . .  
  
^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&  
  
Random annoying dance music is echoing through out the forest, but other then that it is relatively quiet. Until. . .  
  
Garet: Turkey!!!  
  
Alex: What did you have for breakfast?  
  
Garet: Turkey!!!  
  
Felix: What did you have for dinner last night?  
  
Garet: Turkey!!!  
  
Alex: What are you having for lunch?  
  
Garet: Turkey!!!  
  
Felix: Where do you live?  
  
Garet: Turkey!!!  
  
Suddenly, what silence remained was swept away by a little cloud as, with a large clunking sound, two random people fell from the sky. These people were very surprised when the first word they heard upon impact was "turkey".  
  
Alphonse: Ahhhh! Turkey! Where?  
  
Sora: Uh. . . Ow?  
  
Garet: Turkey!!! For the love of guppies, turkey!!!  
  
Mia: Oh, don't worry about him. He scares many innocent people with his stupidity.  
  
Felix: Yeah, some scientists had a field day with him. Still couldn't figure out what was wrong with him though.  
  
And so the new people were introduced to the rest of the cast. Things were going well when. . .  
  
SP: Hiyo!! I'm here! Under the sea!  
  
Alphonse: We're not under the sea. If we were we'd be drowning.  
  
SP: Under the sea! In a yellow submarine octopuses garden type thingamawhatsit  
  
Picard: Sorry, He's had a lot of sugar  
  
SP: Yup yup yup!!!  
  
Sora: Who is he?  
  
Felix: Oh, just an evil psychotic band manager out to take over the world  
  
Sora: I see. . . Well, actually I don't  
  
Isaac: Yes!  
  
Alphonse: He doesn't talk much, does he  
  
Jenna: No, he's easily forgotten  
  
Garet: Turkey!!!!  
  
Picard: Well, before SP got high on sugar he wanted someone to sing Back in the Ussr.  
  
Sora: Hey! I think I know that song!  
  
Mia: I wouldn't do that if I were you. . .  
  
SP: To late! Sora you get to sing! From memory! Mwahahahahaha!!!  
  
Sora: D'oh  
  
Ivan: I need food. . .  
  
Alex: That's nice. No one cares though  
  
Ivan: Thanks, I feel so loved  
  
Isaac: Yup!  
  
Ivan: *whines like a pathetic little whiner*  
  
SP: Sing!!!  
  
Sora:  
  
Fell from a high peak just yesterday  
  
Was in a coma all last night  
  
Couldn't find my left ear or knee  
  
Looked like I got in a fight  
  
I'm Driving a stupid car  
  
On a stupid star, boy  
  
I'm driving a rusty car  
  
I just realized that stick figures don't have a face  
  
Wheee, I got hit by a comb  
  
Soon a judge is gonna hear my case  
  
I think they called me on the phone  
  
SP: Enough! Enough I say to you!  
  
Sora: Are you sure you're not saying it to the large, colorful, nonsensical, polka dotted lamp post behind you?  
  
SP: It's not polka dotted!  
  
Sora: Yes it is! It's yellow polka dots on yellow!  
  
Alex: Then how do we know that they're there?  
  
Sora: Well how do you know they're not?  
  
Jenna: Well why'd a lamp post mysteriously pop up in the middle of the woods?  
  
Alphonse: The same reason me, Sora and this zucchini did?  
  
Felix: Didn't the zucchinis pop up last chapter?  
  
Mia: Well, the lamp post could be from the chronicles of Narnia  
  
Isaac: Yes!  
  
Alphonse: But why a zucchini?  
  
Jenna: Yeah! Why not an eggplant?  
  
Monotone Man: People, this dialogue is getting boring  
  
Felix: Whoops, sorry  
  
Isaac: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Mia: Why is he always asleep?  
  
Sora: Maybe because he can't talk, and our talk is so boring he's falling asleep?  
  
Jenna: Are you calling us boring? *looks at him menacingly*  
  
And so, Sora, like in a scene from a western movie, hops on a horse and swims east into the setting sun shouting "I'll be back! But Rohan will have to rely on king Gandalf the Orange until then"  
  
All: Uh. . .  
  
Monotone Man: You can't swim on a horse.  
  
All: Whatever. . .  
  
Garet: I can try!!!  
  
Felix: No, you won't!  
  
Garet: Aw. . .Turkey!!!  
  
Alex: And Alanna is the queen of Tortall  
  
Monotone Man: No she isn't  
  
Felix: But Perrin is the Dragon reborn  
  
MM: No he isn't  
  
Jenna: And Matthias goes to Hogwarts  
  
MM: No he doesn't  
  
Mia: And Link is the princess of Hyrule!!!  
  
MM: You are hopeless *Disappears in a puff of smoke*  
  
All: Whoohooo! He's gone!!!  
  
MM: That's what you think!!!!!!  
  
!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!  
  
Kraken: Okay, I need another song for Alphonse to sing!  
  
Sora: Freedom!!!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: That's what you think  
  
Sora: Ulp  
  
Tim the zucchini: Review! Or else hordes of zucchinis will come for you!  
  
Tai: Please???  
  
Felix: With sugar on top?  
  
Kraken: I want FFX. . .  
  
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#  
  
Expalations: Okay, I wrote that last week, but my internet hasn't been working until now. And I still don't have FFX. And I want reviews! Please! I really really need a song for Alphonse (He's from Tactics Ogre for GBA. It's a really really fun game) to sing. And Sora and Riku are from Kingdom Hearts for PS2, you know, the game with Disney and Final Fantasy characters. 


	8. In the End, Garet was still stupid

Kraken: And now, for your amusment/horror I will ramble!  
  
Once upon a time there was a lamp post. Now, this wasn't just any lamp post. This was a mutant lamp post programmed to destroy all cactuses!! The problem was that, being a lamp post it was stuck in the ground at a busy intersection in the middle of New York, with no cactuses in sight. Therefore, this ramble is deemed "More pointless then a usual ramble which is so pointless it just melted in to the sidewalk from the sheer pointlessness of it all and was stepped on by a pedestrian swarm running from mad stockbrokers" The end!  
  
Tai: Don't pay her any attention! It will end in your death and/or insanity, which will eventually lead to confinement, and death!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: The disclaimer is that Kraken173 doesn't own anything, so don't sue her or random hobbits, which she doesn't own either, will get you.  
  
Felix: Don't threaten people who can sue dummy!  
  
Sora: On with the story. . .  
  
!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!  
  
Garet: Golden Sun 2 COMING OUT ON THE 14 OF APRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: HAPPIENESS  
  
Mia: I wanna sing!!!!!!!  
  
Alex: No you don't  
  
Mia: Yeah. . .  
  
Felix: It's true. The official Nintendo website said so  
  
Garet: All hail the guppies!!!!!!  
  
Jenna: Noooo!!  
  
SP: Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Armadillo, come!  
  
Armadillo: meyow  
  
Garet: I WANNA SING!!!!!!!  
  
SP: Okay!  
  
Garet: What!? But what about Mia?  
  
Armadillo: Meyow!!!  
  
Picard: I wonder if they're gonna change my name for the English game? Anyway, Garet, sing In the End by Linkin Park!!  
  
Garet: A cheesy phone rings  
  
I don't know why  
  
Can't seem to see it no matter how hard I try  
  
Cheese has a rind  
  
I like to eat thyme  
  
To explain with all sings  
  
All I know  
  
Guppies are valuable things  
  
Watch them fly by as a pendulum swings  
  
Watch them eat food for the rest of the day  
  
The dock ticks knifes away  
  
And I squeal  
  
Didn't look out windows  
  
Watch the time fall below  
  
Tryin to hold on  
  
It didn't even snow  
  
I tasted it all even though it glowed  
  
Wheee ate everything inside and I legally tried to change my name to Bart  
  
What fell on me will eventually be a memory of a time  
  
I Ate some cheese, began to sneeze And like a pen it doesn't even matter  
  
I had a fall, into a wall  
  
And like a pen it doesn't even matter. . .  
  
&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&  
  
And so, the author left to go be happy that Golden Sun 2 has a release date, from the official Nintendo people (Or so we hope) and everyone else took over  
  
Mini Midget Riku: That was an amazingly short and stupid chapter. More short and stupid then usual. Kraken is Lazzyy!!! Like a couch!! Or Sora!! Or zucchinis!  
  
Sora: I'm not lazy, you're evil! And short!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Oh yeah? Well that's cause I'm mini midget Riku. Normal Riku is taller then you  
  
Sora: Humph  
  
Heeheehee unless Nintendo's lying we're gonna get GS2 on April 14. Do da do da. It's really true. On www.nintendo.com, go to games, then rpgs, then GBA, then GS2, and you have a release date! 


	9. Alex, meet Alex Trebeck

Mini Midget Riku: Kraken is getting bored of doing songs. 'Cause she's laaaazyyy!  
  
Kraken: Na-uh, I need uh. . . more variety  
  
Tai: Yeah, sure, variety. You're bored  
  
Kraken: No! I wanna have them play Jeopardy. 'Cause I like Jeopardy. It'll be funny!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Especially with Garet. . .  
  
Kraken: Unfortunately I don't own the legal rights to Golden Sun or Jeopardy. Or anything for that matter. It's not fair!  
  
  
  
It was a fine, happy day, for the adepts and their new friend Alphonse. Sora had yet to come back, so they were having a great time without him complaining about "primitive, medieval, knightish beings". The evil death armadillo posed no threat, and SP had passed out from consuming a mushroom, which greatly resembled Toad from Super Mario. Then, out of nowhere, Alex Trebeck, three mysterious podiums, a large mass of TV screens, and Buffalo Bill, the almighty cameraman, popped up. Along with them was Sora and Gimli the dwarf.  
  
Gimli: Ahhhhhhhh! Tall freakish things with weird hair! And one that suspiciously resembles an elf for obsession with hair care.  
  
Alex: Hey!  
  
Alex: Hey! You took my name!  
  
Felix: What! There's two of them?  
  
Alex: No! I'm Alex!  
  
Mia: I know we'll call Alex the mercury adept Joe III  
  
Jenna: Yeah!  
  
Joe III: Why the third?  
  
Mia: Because, I have a pet zucchini named Joe, and III is better then II  
  
Joe III: Oh. . .  
  
Alex: Let's play Jeopardy! We have everything needed! Even Buffalo bill the almighty cameraman! Garet: I wanna play!  
  
Alex: Uh. . . wait, we don't have questions. I know! Only Garet will play, and everyone else will write down questions on this piece of paper! And of course, Buffalo bill will film and I'll read the questions!  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
Alex: Okay, Garet, you're first question is, This man is the president of the United States  
  
Garet: Uh. . .What's president mean?  
  
Alex: Someone with a lot of power  
  
Garet: Who is. . . Ronald McDonald!  
  
Alex: No. The correct answer is. . . The knights who say NI!? Okay, who wrote this!  
  
Joe III: Well, it does make sense. See, the knights who say NI want a shrubbery, a shrubbery is the same as a bush, and Bush is our president.  
  
Alex: The amazingly stupid grammar is scaring me. Horrifyingly scarifyingness.  
  
Buffalo Bill: Uh. . .Next question  
  
Alex: Riiiight. Garet, This type of rare Japanese lion eats both cactus and bamboo.  
  
Garet: Big Bird!  
  
Alex: No, the answer is. . .I don't think it exists and I you think it actually does you're really, amazingly dense and should be used as a road block or figurehead of a ship for all the good you will do for humanity. Okay, who wrote that!  
  
Felix: Heeheehee  
  
Alex: Ahhhhhh! Next question. This singer is an insult to humanity and deserves a slow death by drownation and torture. His nickname is "SpearFish" And he does the voice of Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts, as well as singing in the band Nsync  
  
Garet: Uh. . . Elvis?  
  
Alex: No  
  
Garet: ThE UlTiMaTe ChEeSe MaN?  
  
Alex: No, Lance Bass. Wait that had the right answer! Who wrote that? Mia: Meeeeeeee!  
  
Alex: Great. Uh. . . Okay, next question This is a type of frog, it lives in a tree and eats nasty things  
  
Garet: Lance Bass!  
  
Alex: No. . .Wait . . .correct? Who wrote this?  
  
Isaac: Me.  
  
Alex: Why?  
  
Isaac: . . .  
  
Alex: Well?  
  
Isaac: . . .  
  
Jenna: Don't worry. He doesn't talk  
  
Alex: Ohhhhhh. . . Next. This is a soft tree found in Southern Ovis. It is most commonly used to make tools  
  
Garet: Chedder?  
  
Alex: No, Toneri. Who wrote this anyway? No one knows that!  
  
Alphonse: I know it!  
  
Alex: Well, you are one of a kind. Next question! I have a zucchini. That's not a question!  
  
Jenna: Yes it is! See: I have a zucchini? It has a question mark at the end! It's a question!  
  
Alex: No, it's not a question, it's a simple declarative sentence with a question mark at the end. Anyway, the next question is, This person wears pants. Great, how specific, Garet, try to answer it  
  
Garet: The little mermaid?  
  
Alex: Uh. . .For the good of the human race I'm not going to reply to that. The answer is My imaginary friend Ted. Let me guess, Sora wrote that?  
  
Sora: Yup!  
  
Alex: Help me God. . .Next question. This guy advertises the miracle blade on TV  
  
Garet: Bob the Builder?  
  
Gimli: Noooo! Chef Tony! We must bow before him!  
  
Alex: I'm not going to ask. Last question, from Picard. It is white, fluffy, and cold.  
  
Garet: Cotton balls in a freezer!  
  
Alex: No, snow. If we were playing for money you would have -2100 dollars. Congratulations, that's a new record. Be lucky we weren't playing for money.  
  
Buffalo Bill: Haahaahaa That was great! I got it all on tape! Haahaahhaa!!  
  
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$  
  
Kraken: If you can think of a question and answer put it in a review!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: And review! Pleeeeaaasseeee??? 


	10. And then I'll kill Ivanna and bring her ...

Kraken: Hiya!! We have a snow day today, which means that there is much happieness, and I can update! I like snow!! Dodado No School! No School!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: And there was much rejoicing. . .  
  
Kraken: Heeheeheeheehee. . . No homework!!!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: You're far to happy then is normal today. . .  
  
Kraken: Lalalalalalalalaaaaa!!!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Piers!!!  
  
Kraken: Whaaaa! They killed his name!!, now I'm depressed. . . I mean really, that has to be the worst name ever, it sounds French for crying out loud! It shouldn't! Picard is a good name, why can't they call him Picard?  
  
Mini Midget Riku: If you're wondering she's complaining about the new name of Picard, Piers, it's now official.  
  
Kraken: Really, even Leon was a better name, and that's not saying much! Leon's a pretty boring name! It makes me think of the Lizard in Star Fox64 (Not the Gamecube one. The Gamecube one isn't even Star Fox, it just has the same characters) And I don't like the lizard in Star Fox64!  
  
Leon the Lizard: Ehum!! *Takes out evil death ray*  
  
Kraken: Eeep! Okay, but Leon is a dumb name for a person  
  
Leon/Squall from FFVIII/Kingdom Hearts: Ehum!! *Takes out gunblade*  
  
Kraken: Eeep!! Um. . . Okay, It's a great name for people and lizards. . .  
  
Leon the Lion: Ehum!! *Roars*  
  
Kraken: Help!!! I'm being swarmed by people named Leon! Ahhhhh!!!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: GO AWAY!!!  
  
* All the Leons run*  
  
Leon/Squall: You're about six inches high you know  
  
Mini Midget Riku: I know!!! Go away!!!  
  
Leon/Squall: I could step on you, you know Mini Midget Riku: Uhh. . . .We've wasted an entire page already, on with the story  
  
Kraken: I don't own anything. . .Except Leon the Zucchini. . .  
  
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)  
  
SP: Mwahahahaha. . . Soon, soon, I will make them from a band. . . And then they will sing! And make money! Mwahahahaha. . .  
  
Picard: If I were you I wouldn't say that out loud sir  
  
SP: Oh. . . How about they sing today!  
  
Picard: Okay!  
  
SP: Heeheehee. . .Elanor Rigby!!! In honor of my latest human sacrifice, Elanor Olato, Alphonse's girlfriend!  
  
Picard: Uh. . . You never did that  
  
SP: Oh. . . I wish I did though!  
  
Picard:. . .  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Alex: Uh. . .Following the events of our failed attempt at Jeopardy, Buffalo Bill and myself are disappearing into a puff of smoke. Good Day.  
  
Joe III: Does that mean I can get my name back now?  
  
Mia: Never!!!  
  
Joe III: Pleeeaaasseeee???  
  
Sora: Happy soda can! Happy!  
  
All:. . .  
  
Ivan comes running up, completely out of breath.  
  
Ivan: Heres. . .the. . .next. . .song. . .*faints*  
  
All:. . .  
  
Alex: Hey! My names not Joe III any more! Yay!  
  
Suddenly there is a large puff of smoke, Gimli happily disappears, because he has to go hang out with Link, Marth, and Roy, and Riku, Rikku, and Rictor Lasanti (Tactics Ogre) pop up, as well as Leon the zucchini.  
  
Sora: Hey! I know you! You're the guy with the white hair who I've known forever that tried to kill me on numerous occasions when possessed by darkness!  
  
Riku: Hello to you to. . .  
  
Rikku: How come he has my name!  
  
Jenna : It's not the same. His name has one K whereas yours has two  
  
Riku: But they're pronounced the same!  
  
Rikku: Yeah! That's not fair!  
  
Monotone Man: Riku from Kingdom Hearts, you're name is now Joe III  
  
Joe III: What!!!  
  
Picard: Hello all!  
  
All: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!  
  
Rictor Lasanti: The evil squirrels of death will get you!!!  
  
All: Uhhh. . .  
  
Alphonse: You know, Ignis Fatuus, which means something along the line of Fire of the Apocalypse in Latin  
  
All: Eeep!!!  
  
Rictor Lasanti: Mwahahahahahaha!!!  
  
Picard: Alphonse, you have to sing Elanor Rigby as a duet with Rictor in honor of your deceased girlfriend  
  
Alphonse: Deceased!?  
  
Picard: No, But Sargent Pepper, great god of Darkness, wishes she was.  
  
Joe III: Isn't Ansem the great god of darkness?  
  
Rikku: This zucchini tastes good! Leon the Zucchini: Oww. . . gurgle  
  
Garet: Nooooo! You killed it! My only friend!!  
  
Rictor: Uh. . . Hey SP can't threaten to kill my girlfriend 'cause she's dead!!  
  
Alphonse: But don't you like Ivanna Batra-  
  
Rictor: Shhhh! Don't tell them!  
  
SP: Mwahahahaha!!!  
  
All: Ahhhhhh!  
  
Sora: Fruitcake!!!  
  
SP: Mr. Lasanti, If you don't sing, I'll bring Malicia Batraal back from the dead, kill her, kill Ivanna Batraal, bring her back from the dead revive Naris Batraal, have him kill Ivanna, then kill him! Mwahahahahahaha!!!  
  
Rictor: Okay then. . .  
  
Sora: Onion Rings are attacking Tokyo!!  
  
Rikku and Joe III stuff Sora in a potato sack and then feed him to a hungry tsunami.  
  
All: . . .  
  
SP: Sing already you little idiots!  
  
Alphonse:  
  
Eleanor Rigby eats some live mice  
  
People getting attacked by mad hens  
  
Falls in a stream  
  
Falls out the window, blood on her face  
  
And she sits in a jar by the door  
  
Someone yells fore  
  
Alphonse/Rictor: All the stupid people  
  
Why do they attack cows?  
  
All the stupid people  
  
Someone, shoot them now  
  
Rictor:  
  
Father is crazy talkin' 'bout verbs  
  
and predicates stuck in my ear  
  
Running in fear  
  
Look at him lurking, chewing on socks  
  
In the dark night when nobody cares  
  
Likes to eat hair  
  
Alphonse/Rictor:  
  
All the stupid people  
  
Why do they attack cows?  
  
All the stupid people  
  
Someone, shoot them now  
  
Ah, look at all the stupid people  
  
Ah, look at all the stupid people  
  
Eleanor Rigby ate the live perch  
  
And was choked 'for anyone came  
  
That was sure lame  
  
Father is crazy eating the dirt off his hands  
  
As he walks from the grave  
  
Exploring a cave  
  
All the stupid people  
  
Why do they attack cows?  
  
All the stupid people  
  
Someone, shoot them now  
  
Ah, look at all the stupid people  
  
Ah, look at all the stupid people  
  
SP: My ears!!!! They burn!!!!  
  
Felix: *Eats pizza*  
  
Alex: *Eats pizza*  
  
Joe III: *Eats Pizza*  
  
Rikku: *Eats Pizza*  
  
Isaac: *Eats Pizza*  
  
Mia: *Eats Pizza*  
  
Jenna: *Eats Pizza*  
  
Alphonse: *Eats Pizza*  
  
Rictor: *Eats pizza*  
  
Garet: * Eats poisonous mushroom, dies*  
  
Sora: * Was already eaten by tsunami*  
  
  
  
Mini Midget Riku: What was the point of the last few sentances?  
  
Kraken: Dunno. Weren't you getting attacked by Squall?  
  
Mini Midget Riku: He's eating pizza  
  
Kraken: Oh. . . Please Review! And read my Super Smash Brothers Story! It doesn't matter is you've actually played Super Smash Brothers, but some of the jokes have to do with LOTR. 


	11. Jeopardy 2 And Garet is pollution

Hello! I changed my pen name! It's better now. And slightly more creative. . .slightly. Actually my really weird subconscious made it up in a dream. Last night I had a dream that I broke my wrist and had to ride my dog to Canada. Then I woke up. Then I had a dream I was at the beach, and it was a happy dream because I wish I could go to the beach. Anyway. . .  
  
Sheba: Hello. Me and Dora are still here, if you haven't forgot, and they're making us constantly bake cookies!  
  
Tai: They're really, really good to, but they need more chocolate chips!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: Chocolate! Chocolate!  
  
Lews Therin: Or else death will come to you! Mwahahaha!  
  
Mini Midget Riku: And the author doesn't own anything, so don't sue. Please. And if you do sue you won't get anything anyway. And we want a copy of Crossroads of Twilight.  
  
~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~  
  
Everyone not form Golden Sun left. Because it was wayyy to confusing. Except Sora. He was regurgitated by the tsunami. Then they defenestrated him. Then he came back, but now he has a broken arm and a banana peel and a cat.  
  
SP(Which could also stand for Simple Plan, but if Simple Plan shows up we're colectivly calling them "Joe III"): Okay, today I have summoned Alex Trebec! Mwahahahaha! And Alex, in order to avoid confusion you are being banished to the netherworld for the rest of the story. Goodbye.  
  
Alex: Noooooooooooo!  
  
Sora's Cat: Meow  
  
Sora: Ahhhh! It lives in my hair!  
  
Alex: Hello all. Today We have another exiting round of Jeopardy. With Mia as a contestant. And, as usual, Buffalo Bill as Camera Man!  
  
Mia: Uh-oh. . .This isn't good. . .Why do they always pick on meee!  
  
Jenna: 'Cause no one likes you. You're an preppy cheerleader.  
  
Mia: Whaaaaaaaaa!!!  
  
Sora: Don't worry Mia, I'm sure the zucchinis like you.  
  
Isaac: *Snickers*  
  
Mia: That's not nice, silent boy! I thought you liked me!  
  
Isaac: No  
  
Jenna: He likes meee!!!  
  
Ivan: Hey, SP left! I'm freeeee! Freedom!! Free!!  
  
Alex: No. SP has put you under my control. There for you will be asking the first question to Mia. Have fun!  
  
Ivan: Erm. . .Okay then. . .Erm. . .Uh. . .  
  
Felix: Hello, get to the question already!  
  
Ivan: Okay, okay. What is the ionization ratio of the airspeed velocity of an egotistical trolly of 100 RAMHPKm with a 20/20 turbo power window washer?  
  
Mia: Uh. . .Mozzarella?  
  
Ivan: No, it is the same as the proton/electron rate of an electric canary at the elevation of three feet under the center of the sun as is expressed by the alignment of the axis of mercury in relation to the 7N quadrant of the galaxy GC.  
  
Jenna: What's GC stand for? Good Charlotte? Gamecube? Giant Cabbages?  
  
Ivan: No, it stands for Grains of Cassiopeia  
  
Jenna: Ohh. . .  
  
Garet: I think the yuppies are eating my brain out. . .  
  
Felix: Yuppies? Don't you mean guppies?  
  
Garet: They're city guppies  
  
Felix: Guppies have cities?  
  
Garet: I dunno. . .  
  
Alex: Wow, what an interesting discussion. Next question!  
  
Sora: CanIgocanIgocanIgo  
  
Alex: I'm probably going to regret this but okay. . .  
  
Sora: Yay!!!!!! My question is uh. . .Help! The sun is rising!  
  
Mia: Uh. . .Sora, that's not a question.  
  
Sora: Oh. . .Okay then. . .If my best friend's girl friend's brother's cousin ate a paper clip what is George W. Bush's middle name?  
  
Jenna: Who is your best friend's girl friend's brother's cousin?  
  
Sora: Me! 'Cause my best friend is Riku, his girl friend is Kairi, her brother is Squall (A/N: Mwahahaha) and I'm his cousin! And I ate a paper clip once.  
  
Mia: Uh. . .Wilbur?  
  
Sora: No, it's Fred. George Fred Bush  
  
Mia: But Fred doesn't begin with a W  
  
Sora: So?  
  
Sora's Cat: Meow  
  
Felix: Well, I don't think anyone knows what Bush's middle name is. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe really is *W*  
  
Isaac: No  
  
Alex: The president's middle name is to remain a mystery that only the government knows. Otherwise it may be used against him in a not nice way.  
  
Ivan: But what about Abe "Jeff" Lincoln? Or John "Fishman" Kennedy?  
  
Alex: Uh. . .They were flukes. That's why the government had to assassinate them.  
  
Garet: Fishies!!! I like fishies! They are shiny and shiny and shiny and shiny and shiny and shiny and  
  
Felix: Bad Garet!! Go to your room! Now!  
  
Garet scampers off in a random direction which leads him right over the edge of a clift in to the ocean. A large splash is heard, and the almighty god of the sea tosses Garet back mumbling something about pollution.  
  
Garet: Owies! That hurt! I need a care bear. . .  
  
Alex: Okay then. . .you know what, this is getting really boring. You are all the weakest links. Goodbye.  
  
Buffalo Bill: Goodbye.  
  
And they vanished in a puff of egg yolk. And, back from the underworld, it's Alex! Everyone's least favorite Adept!  
  
Alex: That's not nice. And besides, in GS2 I have cool music, so ha.  
  
Jenna: Hey! Where'd you get GS2?  
  
Alex: They have those things in hell.  
  
Jenna: But that would create a weird inter-dimensional plothole!  
  
Alex: Whoops. . .  
  
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~~#~~#  
  
Okay, enough of that chapter. I just got my braces off and now I have a retainer and it's really, really weird.  
  
Mini Midget Riku: HIIIIIYYYAAA!!!  
  
Lews Therin: Stop the over use of the almighty caps lock button! We must bow down to it!  
  
mini midget riku: oh. sorry. is this better?  
  
Lews therin: no! 'cause now we don't have capital letters! i think the author is going crazy. stop it! and review. 


End file.
